Monday 12 January 2015

....

So last Friday I lost one of the closest and most precious things in my life.  I lost a cat.  I have not ever been a "cat person".  All of my life I have been the person that was skeptical of cat people and never understood what the big deal was.

Then I started dating Ryan.  The first time that I came to his house for dinner on our third date, I met his cat Trixie, and dog Bruin.  I immediately bonded with his dog, but couldn't be fussed about the cat.

Over time that changed, I came to love Trixie and we were inseparable.

Then last august when I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my mom, we ended up moving in together.  I  work from home, so we cleared out of one his spare rooms and made it my office.  Since then almost every day, all day Trixie and I have been together.  I bought her a cat perch to put in my office window, I made one of the cubes in my expedit shelf into cubby for her.  Trixie would sit, or nap on her perch all day while I worked.  When we would leave, even if only to take Bruin for a walk,  Trixie would be on her perch to watch us go and then come back.

When I would go out, if I was near a pet store I would always pop in to buy her something.  Trixie was one of the best friends I could ask for.  She was curious, playful, and oh so stubborn.  Trixie would want to do something, but if you asked her to do it she would leave, wait about 1 minute, and then come back and do it as though she had thought of it.  Trixie was only 9 this year, so I thought that I had plenty of years left with her.

Trixie loved to play, she loved to sit in the kitchen doorway and meow at me, then I would chase her down the hall to the bedroom where she would jump onto the bed.  There I would either play with a laser with her, or a ribbon.  Whenever I tried to change the sheets, or sort the laundry she made that into a game too.  I would arrange the pillows on the bed into an obstacle course and pull a string in and around.  She would wiggle, pounce, and chase it all over the bed.

Trixie slept on the bottom corner of the bed, on a red blanket that used to be mine.  Usually in the middle of the night she change to be either sleeping on you, or snuggled up to you.   Anything that I would put on the bed, Trixie would curl up onto and try to claim.  Trixie had a little house on top of Ryan's dresser that she would also sleep in sometimes.  It looked kind of like a teepee, and would get so warm in there.  She would act all cute and then you would put your hand in to pet her and she would bite it.  That was her game. Any time that I was sitting with a blanket on me she would jump up and curl up on my lap.  Usually she would fall asleep, so would my feet or legs from her weight, but I couldn't move something so small and cute.

For Christmas I bought her a long piece of material on a stick, as well as a ton of catnip.  Trixie loved the 'nip.  The toy that I bought her entertained her for hours.  I could even anchor it on top of the cupboards so that it hung down and she would play with it while I made dinner.  Trixie would meow when it got tangled up, so that I could come and reset it.

Trixie had the cutest meows, she would meow to tell us her stories if we had left her overnight for a day or two alone.  She would meow in the morning, or at dinner when I was going down to feed her.  She would meow almost like a thank you when I would open the sliding door to let her back inside the house.  What I would give now to hear them one last time.

On Friday Ryan and I went for dinner and then came back.  We had made plans to go snowshoeing on Saturday and decided to get everything ready as we were leaving pretty early in the morning.  Originally we had planned a date night, but we are lame and cut it short to come home and get ready for snowshoeing and watch a movie snuggled up on the couch.  When I went downstairs to get my hiking boots Trixie was there in her area where her food dishes were, and another of her many play areas.  Yes, Trixie had her own spot on every room of the house.  Trixie and I snuggled for a bit and I petted her and gave her kisses.  I used to give Trixie kisses every time that I left the house, came back, before bed, and pretty much all day.  I came up with my hiking boots and Trixie in tow.  She meowed to go outside, which I let her out.

It started raining a bit, so I opened the door and called her, she didn't come.  I waited about 5 minutes and did it again, but still nothing.  Ryan and I sat down to watch the movie, knowing that I would check the door every five minutes until she was back.  We heard a noise, that sounded like something in the recycling bins on the deck.  Ryan got up to see what it was, and then told me to come right away and that we had to get Trixie to a vet.  I raced over and there was Trixie on her side, letting out a wheezing sound, and a little drool.  Ryan raced to call the emergency vet line while I bent down and cradled her in my arms, petting her and telling her that everything was going to be ok.  It was about after a minute of that, that she stopped breathing.  I tried to resuscitate her, but she was gone.  I have only ever felt more helpless once before in my life, and that was when I lost my mother.

Ryan's parents came over and we buried her in the backyard.  After getting about 3 hours sleep all night, Saturday we undertook the painstaking task of packing all of her stuff away.  Neither of us can stand to look at it.  Every room in the house is a reminder of her, the worst being the bedroom, my office, and downstairs where her food, and her litter area were.


Trixie was the best cat that anyone could ever ask for.  She made a non cat person into her best friend.  She was always there to snuggle, play, and cheer you up if you had a bad day.  I spent all day with her, and thought that I had so many days ahead of us.  Any time that we were on holiday I would watch videos or look at pictures of her, missing her so much.  I cannot even begin to describe the devastation, and the heartbreak that I am experiencing.  I cannot even imagine how people who lose children cope with that.  I know that with time this feeling will pass, and I will focus on the happy times.  I miss her so much, and the house feels empty without her.



Wednesday 7 January 2015

Well well well look who is back!  Last night I decided to try a new Pinterest recipe.  I am not sure if people lose their minds when they post on Pinterest, or if they deliberately want to sabotage everyone's dinner.  Either way, every time that I try a new recipe I am skeptical.

The recipe that I tried last night was Baked Ravioli from Tasty Kitchen.  I made a few modifications, and it turned out really well. The calorie count was really high, which is helpful in offsetting all of my hard work at the gym.

The link is below (I think, I basically have no idea what I am doing when it come to that). I made my recipe with the same cook time and temperature, however I made the following changes.


  1. I used a 700g package of Olivieri Spinach and Cheese Ravioli.  I bought this fresh and then I froze it.  I am very clever that way.
  2. I used 2 bottles of Classico sauce.  You can use whatever flavour you desire.  I would not suggest 4 cheese, as someone may have used that and the dish was a tad too rich (every time I use that word I think of my boyfriend's dad, as this is his name, and he is a bit of a rascal)
  3. I used Kraft Skim Mozzarella. I probably used 3/4 of a 460g block.  I don't generally measure when I cook, which comes in handy when I modify a recipe and then have to remember what I did 6 months later.  I mixed this in with 3 handfuls (I have small hands, so small that I can wear children's batting gloves) of the 100% shredded parmesan cheese.
  4. I didn't use cheese between the layers as that seemed like it would be too much.  I also didn't spray the pan (The HORROR)

I put 3/4 cup of sauce in the bottom of the glass 9X13 baking dish.  Then I layered the frozen ravioli and sauce until I reached the last layer of ravioli.  I dumped the remaining sauce on top (at this point I wish that I had been a bit more scant on the last layer) and then sprinkled with my tiny fairy hands the mozzarella/parmesan blend.  I covered the top with foil, and popped it into the 400F oven.  Then I sat on the couch and rubbed my boyfriend's feet for 30 minutes.  When the timer went off I washed my hands, removed the tinfoil and then baked for 20 more minutes to make sure that the middle was not frozen (which by the way every time that I see the word frozen I start singing Let It Go in my head.  I do not have children, so kudos to Disney on their movie that has brainwashed everyone into signing zombies.  I feel a bit like Derek Zoolander when he was sent to assassinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia)  There you have it.  It was a pretty easy dinner and overall tasted really nice.  I paired it with a side of baby spinach and some sparkling water.

http://tastykitchen.com/recipes/main-courses/baked-ravioli/



Tuesday 6 January 2015

The First Blog is the Deepest

I have often been told by friends that I should start blogging.  I have been told that I am witty, and have a great sense of humour.  Mainly I am sarcastic, which just comes off as the rantings of a crazy person on here.

2015 seemed like the right year to start.  I am about to take on the workload of 3 people, I am trying for a baby, and I am also on a fitness kick, so why take not on another task?!  I am the person that takes on way too much at times.  My boyfriend (yes that is right, not married and trying for a baby!!  For those of you who have begun praying for my bastard child, you should move along now) loves when I book our schedule up and we don't get any down time.

My goals for 2015, if anyone is still reading at this point are; to have a baby or at least get pregnant, let's not overachieve.  Get back to a healthy weight, because pregnancy and weight loss go hand in hand.  Learn to be able to say no, and not in a self defence kind of way.  And to finally find Carmen Sandiego.

Here is to 2015, and to posting more than just this blog all year.


Sarah